Episode 15: Following a Winding Spiritual Path with John Hamilton and "Honest to God"

Wildhouse Publishing recently sent me a review copy of Honest to God, a memoir written by John Hamilton. I had never heard of John Hamilton, but his bio reminded me of my own spiritual path, so I decided to give it a read.

John was born in South Boston to a firefighter father and a devout Catholic mother. His first encounter with the transcendent came through music, singing in the church choir.

At eight years old, serving as an altar boy, John first heard God's call. He went on to develop an appreciation for the mystical ways of the Church. By the time he was offered a place in seminary at the end of eighth grade, he had spent months in prayer considering this path. Yet the gift of his first guitar—and an awakening lust for life—led him in a different direction.

Throughout his life, John searched for meaning. He grew away from the Catholic Church, but when his young daughter was invited to a Protestant service, the family went along. There they found a welcoming, jubilant atmosphere that made them feel at home. From there, John’s path eventually led him to pursue a liturgical career, culminating in his ordination as a pastor.

The narrative of the book alternates between past and present, weaving a masterful tale of personal and spiritual transformation. Odd-numbered chapters trace John's evolution from his 1980s stint with the band Newsboy—“the best band you’ve never heard of”—through his successful career in advertising, to his 2002 pastoral calling. Even-numbered chapters chronicle his final days as pastor of First Congregational Church in Norwood, Massachusetts, interweaving tender memories of his life as the congregation’s spiritual leader. The two timelines converge elegantly, with the chapter describing John’s first day as pastor at First Congregational leading directly to the chapter describing his last.

In John’s final year as pastor, he feels a spiritual restlessness take hold. The God he knew as a child no longer seems real. John explores the wider expanse of our spiritual relationship to the universe and seeks to reconcile the cognitive dissonance of living in a world of wonder and suffering.

Though my own story may seem less dramatic than Hamilton's, I feel a deep kinship with his journey. Like him, I began as a child of the Roman Catholic Church, moved by its music and touched by God's presence. In my teens, I experienced a moment of divine connection that still resonates today. My passion led me to guide friends through RCIA (Rite of Christian Initiation for Adults), hoping to share that sacred joy.

As I navigated adulthood—college, marriage, children—the Church's teachings began to feel discordant. When I sought guidance from my priest during this crisis of faith, instead of the dialogue I needed, he simply handed me a Catholic magazine. Its rigid outline of Church membership requirements made it clear: I no longer fit within those bounds. My Catholic journey ended there.

Like Pastor John, I found myself wondering, "Where do I go from here?" I wrestled with labels like "atheist" or "agnostic" but found nothing that could really define me. My mother, though a lifelong Catholic, embraced a gentler, more nuanced faith in her later years. She introduced me to Richard Rohr—a Franciscan priest teaching Nonduality—whose essays offered a fresh perspective on Christianity.

I was blessed with a mother whose generous heart never wavered in loving me. Another blessing came near the time of her passing: a guide who introduced me to the spiritual oneness taught by the Buddha, Baruch Spinoza, and other great thinkers.

Now I've found my place in the cosmic web, feeling connected to all that is. I've made peace with my past, present, and future. As John Hamilton beautifully concludes in Honest to God, our fundamental purpose is to infuse the world with compassion and kindness, helping to dispel the fear and confusion that clouds so many lives.

John's journey continues, as does ours. Perhaps as we walk our diverse paths, sharing love and understanding, we will all discover the peace we are seeking.

For more information on John Hamilton and his memoir, go to:
https://wildhousepublishing.com/honest-to-god/